Those Moments

I would be lying if I said I did not feel a little panicked on Thursday. That was my last day of my contract job with the private equity group here in town. Over all the engagement went really well and I had a very focused three weeks working on the project. I am pretty proud of my work and I think that the document turned out better than expected given that I felt a bit overwhelmed going in. I suppose that it was one of those "gotta back it up" moments.

It never hit me until I was wrapping up on Thursday that I was headed back into "the world." The job search has been there for the last few weeks but it did take a bit of a back seat in that I did not have time to originate new opportunities and only time to keep what I have going (which is still a good bit). Staring at the void of uncertainty again just turns my stomach at times. I want to believe that things will be ok, and I try to tell myself that things will be ok, but at times it's hard to believe it. I just want it to be ok not now but RIGHT NOW. When does this end? How can I be this close, this long and still have my life and future "hanging" in the balance? Anywho, I will be back at it on Tuesday.

I have been good for the most part though. This week was really busy and highlighted that I need to take time to shut out the world every few days and meditate - just me and my thoughts. I find myself running from task to task and none of it is all that important at the end of the day. I have to say that I had a really cool day on Friday though. I headed down to Galveston (for the first time in at least 10 years) with Rob and Adrienne and got a couple of R-44 jumps in. I will post some pics once I get those together and uploaded to flickr.

Still a Booster

For the rest of my life I will remember my days at NASA very fondly. I loved that job and the people that I worked with, and for a rookie aerospace engineer fresh out of college, it was a dream job. For those of you that I have not spoken over the years that may have found me via my blog, I probably should explain.

I worked in the Booster Systems Group when I was at NASA. Booster is one of the many console positions that you see in the Mission Control Center or MCC during a Space Shuttle Mission. The role of the three person Booster team is to monitor the external tank, solid rocket boosters, three Space Shuttle main engines and the cryogenic systems that get liquid oxygen and liquid hydrogen from the external tank to the main engines during a launch. Pretty cool stuff. I flew six launches on the Main Propulsion System (MPS) console (tank, boosters, cryo) supporting that team. (hence Booster MPS) The team lead was the Booster Officer that sat in the main room you would see on TV. I sat in another room with the Main Engine Officer and we would communicate over the voice loops with the Booster up front.

One of the coolest accomplishments that I remember from working there during that time is that we were transitioning from the old control center to the new one. What that means is that we were leaving the MCC that you might remember historically from the Mercury, Gemini and Apollo missions to a modern facility with high powered unix workstations and all the bells and whistles of a high-tech control room. The old MCC has a ton of nostalgia and history mostly because of the ugly green consoles with the flashing lights and push button panels that clicked when you press them. When people come to visit NASA, the old MCC is one of the things that everybody wants to see because it is the image of men sitting at these consoles that comes to mind when you think of the lunar missions. I was fortunate to fly the very last mission (STS-76) from the old control center before it was closed and the very first (STS-77) mission from the new MCC.

Well, this morning I got this email from my old boss Ken from the Booster Group.


Folks,
On my annual trip to the Oregon Coast, my family and I stopped by the Evergreen Aviation Air Museum. This year the museum has added a new building just for space related hardware. As I was enjoying the new exhibits, I noticed an old MCC console. The console had been stripped of everything! Well almost everything. The only piece of paper remaining under the glass was the Booster Phone Card!

Enjoy - you are now part of aviation history at the air museum.

Ken

So there you have it. That is the console where I sat during missions now on display in a museum. Funny thing is that I remember after they started to take all of the consoles apart and remove most of the lights and command panels, the MPS console where I sat still had some of our paper notes and cheat sheets on it. I never thought anything of it....

Just Gringing Through

Just been grinding through this week. The good news is that I picked up a three week contract gig through the end of August. It's nothing particularly sexy but I can at least put some private equity experience on my CV and at this point and it gets me out of the house. It's also been a good week with making contacts hopefully leading to something permanent and tomorrow I am meeting with the president of the TX division of a company. Tomorrow's meeting could be good but it's up to me to sell it but after all, he opened the door which is all I can ask.

The good kinda got shat on yesterday when I came out to my car after work only to find that it had been hit in the garage. Great. If nothing else it's just a huge distraction that puts me out of my car and throws my schedule. Since I moved here with that car it has taken more abuse from others than I would have ever thought in Houston. Whatever, material things come and go.

What's for dinner? Halibut w/ chili vinaigrette

Blam!

That Which Is Life Changing

Truth be told this week has been a load of complete crap at the casa over here. Maybe that is a bit blunt but that kinda sums it up for the most part. After a relaxing weekend away it seems like I have come back to more questions, misunderstandings, and uncertainty than I thought were possible.

I have always been a big fan of re-inventing myself and this is probably as good a time as any for me. I found this article about a week ago but I did not really read it until tonight. I have to say that Julie pretty much got it right.

I am gonna get my knees in the breeze tomorrow afternoon at the DZ, get some perspective, and get my ass back in gear.