What's For Dinner? Short Ribs

Harissa beef short rib, polenta, asparagus

This Is Significant

I have this sign in my living room and it always seems to draw a lot of attention. I bought it many years ago at a second hand sale and framed it. At the time I got it the last thing on my mind was controversy or buying something just for attention at my house. I think I just saw the sign as something that I am connected to being African American and also being from the deep south. It's part of the history of the culture there just because these signs were so common not that long ago.

Yes, not that long ago. I grew up entirely in the post civil rights deep south but there are still a lot of people that did not. Recently mom and I were talking about politics and the Democratic and Republican candidates. As we were discussing the candidates and the upcoming Texas primary, she said something that caught me off guard. Mom said that she would really like to see Obama win and a African American as president. I suppose somebody wanting to see somebody as president because of race or gender (while not entirely a sound criteria) seems somewhat acceptable, but for mom this is something entirely different. For somebody that grew up before Jim Crow and endured all that Montgomery Alabama threw at them, somebody of my mother's generation never considered that they would live to see a legitimate or likely presidential candidate that was Black. That day is here for them. Amazing when you think about it from that perspective.

Who Would You Call?

Funny how things that seem insignificant at one time can stick with you and become markers in your life. I remember once when I was at Auburn calling home to speak to my parents. I think this was my freshman year or so. Both of my parents were retired back then and were living the good life. This particular day that I called is memorable because it was one of the first times that I was calling home and nobody answered. I suppose to frame this up you have to remember that 20 years ago (damn has it been that long?) the common Joe did not own a cell phone. So where in the world were my parents and why were they not there for me? I really wasn't calling for anything important but it struck me that if I were calling for something important, they would not have been there for me. So who would I call? As an only child it kinda hit me that I had only myself to count on to get it done when it comes to family stuff.

Now I feel the same thing. Mom was diagnosed with cancer end of last week. I wanted to call somebody but who would I call? Sure I have plenty of friends and family but me being me I am just not that good at making that call. This is not about me, it's about her and her road to recovery through prayer and good medical care. From what I know now it seems like this could be much worse but the future is unknown. There will be several steps along the way. I think....I think that I have the peace of mind that the care is good from the doctors. It was good to speak to Stephanie today and I am glad that I had her knowledge to lean on and learn from. That helps.

I just think that I need somebody to be there on the other end of the line when I dial that house in 334. I need her to be there.

What's For Dinner: Jerk Chicken

Jerk chicken, cabbage and saffron rice

Tyler Says Let Go

I'd never been in a car accident.  This must have been what all those
people felt like before I filed them as statistics in my reports.  

We've just had a near-life experience!


I swear he is in the car right next to me telling me to just let go.
All I can think about is grabbing the steering wheel to do something
or slamming on my brakes but there is still this voice that just says let go.  
Let go.  What can you really do?  This just is not in your hands.  
Maybe ........well.  What do I really know.   

I hope that I can look back at this year or at least the beginning of it a
year from now and say I made it through even with everything thrown at me.  
Life seems to be swirling around me right now and throwing a lot at me and
my family.  I think the very best that I could hope for is that we all make
it through healthy and together.  That seems like a small thing to ask for
but right now it seems like a huge challenge.  Maybe all this will be better in
the morning.  

The best I can seem to do is pray.  And let go.