Go West Young Man

Off to San Diego for the week tomorrow and morning can't come quick enough. Should be plenty of good times, sun, and fun jumps along the way. Hopefully there will be all kinds of cool pictures too.

I just finished the fight a few minutes ago....and to be honest....I am a little choked up.

How
Beautiful

How
Perfect

Thank you Bungie

DMB Houston 2007

Pantala Naga Pampa ...> Rapunzel
Everyday
Corn Bread
You Might Die Trying
Eh Hee
You Never Know
Dancing Nancies
Anyone Seen the Bridge? ...> Too Much
Bartender
Grey Street
Fool to Think
The Dreaming Tree
What Would You Say
Louisiana Bayou
Ants Marching

Five Days, Five Questions - Day Five

5) If you could eliminate one thing from your life what would it be? How would your life be any different?

I don't know. This is kinda like that question where you are asked if there is one thing you could do over again, what would it be. That is hard because we are the sum of our experiences and the choices we have made.

I think my answer to what I would eliminate might be fear of failure or fear or watching the clock. I have always had a very keen sense of my humanity and the pressure to get it right the first time around because, well, we only get one time around. Life can weigh on me at times and I always want to do the right things so that I can live a life that is pleasing in God's eyes as well as those around me. I want to be honored. I want to be remembered. I want to make a difference. I don't want to be just another person that drank God's clean water and breathed his fresh air for 70 years. We owe more to this life, or should it be said This Life. I like it with caps a lot better.....

Along with that is the fear of letting go of life and what we know here and realizing that we all die. We all pass on. We will all leave others behind and these things have never sat well with me. Maybe that is something to explore at another time.

Without this fear, I see life as something much cleaner. I really think I would be able to live life without the fear of consequence. Fear of consequence is what pressures me I think into over thinking things and what I do and how I live my life. If I could get over this, there would be more space for me just to live "in the moment." Being in the moment and enjoying it all is a beautiful thing and I think that is really how God wants us to live.

Five Days, Five Questions - Day Four

4) Do you think someone can extend grace without having first recognized their need for it?

In my eyes, grace is either of two things: God's love for us that is given freely to us or a gift or love that is undeserved. Either way that I look at it, the definitions are very much the same.

It's really pretty simple if you ask me. To extend grace to somebody in your daily walk (family, friend, stranger) you have to be in a very specific place in your life. In order to extend grace you absolutely must have a clear recognition of your personal need for it. Even more important than recognizing a need for grace, you must be willing to accept it before ever being able to share it. That is where I think many fall short. If you can recognize it and then accept it, it changes your life.

Five Days, Five Questions - Day Three

3) What is the one thing you would stop doing today and the one you would start. Why?

Well since you asked........

The first thing that comes to mind that would make me a better person and also make me happier has to do with my Mom. If it could ever somehow be, I would stop my relationship with my mother as her son and start a new relationship with her as my friend. Moms will always be moms and sons will always be sons and I get that. It's just the way it is and we have roles to play. But, I know at least for us, having something more would be nice.

Through the years as I have gotten closer to my friends, I have also grown closer to their families as well which has been nice. One of the first things that it seems like I notice a lot is how close my friends are to their parents. Specifically I notice that they are friends which is the one thing that I missed with my parents. As a kid, my parents always kept a firm hand on me and where strong disciplinarians. I was always a good kid for the most part and and rarely got into much trouble, but I always looked at my parents as the ones that set policy in the home. They were the police, authority, enforcers and overseers.

When I look around now, I see a need for more than that and I am not sure that Mom and I know how to do anything other than play those same roles. She asks the motherly questions, I give the stock son answers. I don't call enough - in her opinion. She reminds me of that for the first 5 minutes every time I call. In fact, that is all we talk about. She worries. I tell her not to. She lives her life. I live mine. She refuses to come see me. I hate going to Montgomery. She is a homebody. I live an active life.

We
Are
Different

All said, if I could stop my current push and pull of a relationship with my mother and get to know her as my friend and have her get to know me and accept my life, that would be what I would choose above anything else. I love her very much, there is, nor ever was any question about that, but I think that we could be more. This is my one and only mother that has given me so much from her life. We should be friends.

Five Days, Five Questions - Day Two

2) What do you believe is the difference between knowledge and wisdom?

Knowledge is simply what is know to us but not necessarily clear and unambiguous fact. The philosophical debate on exactly what knowledge is defined as is probably not important, but for George, it is simply what I know. Maybe it is information learned academically or social skills learned from my interactions with others but the sum of these interactions and what I take away are ......knowledge. From where I stand it forms the foundation of belief and also technical skill. I know the principles of my faith. I know how to discount cash flows. I know how to be a good friend.

Wisdom comes from the same life experiences, however, wisdom steps beyond knowledge in that it requires subjective interpretation of application of knowledge. Wisdom requires courage at times in take a stand in making a decision. I have found that although I know one thing might be so, greater wisdom might point to the fact that this point of view might not be applicable.

Knowledge was knowing how to deal with a long spot last weekend. Wisdom was knowing I MIGHT not make it back to the drop zone and choosing to land in a back yard rather risk being in a swamp. (hey kid, thanks for not telling your parents I landed in your back yard......it's still our secret)

Knowledge is knowing that my career will probably limited where I am now. Wisdom is taking the time to find the right opportunity rather than jump at any opportunity just to move on.

Knowledge helps me to understand that the kids at TCH are under some of the best care in the world from the doctors there. Wisdom comforts me with my faith that underpins the ability of the doctors.

I will take wisdom over knowledge any day.

Five Days, Five Questions - Day One

A dear friend of mine presented me with five questions. If I may say, they are quite good questions and while I normally reserve my journal for my own happs, she knows me well enough that the content is quite relevant and interesting. So.....here you go.

1) How do you stop avoiding your self?

I really don't know what the intent of this question (or any of them for that mater) is but I think that I should interpret it to be asking me about avoidance of whatever is on my mind (self).

Hmph

Well I am to first to admit that I am pensive. In fact, that is the first thing my friends would say about me is that I am pensive and the wheels are always turning. I can't help it, it's just me and how I am. To that end, I really can't avoid my issues. I can't avoid George or the things on my mind and there is no getting around it.

This is not to say that I don't try though

When things become "regular" or "routine" I lose touch with myself and the things that are important to me. Seems like I just start doing all the wrong things when it comes to taking care of myself. I sometimes wish in those days that I had somebody to save me from myself. Somebody to make me better. But I don't. I only have myself. I do long for the day that I have somebody that just makes me better and keeps me on track.

I think I am my own worst enemy because I can't avoid myself for long. It is that pensiveness that brings me back to center. There is no avoiding. And you know when I stop and think about it, I don't think I enjoy life as much when I am in that avoidance mode. I like who I am for the most part - don't get me wrong, if I could re-invent myself, there are things I would change. Plenty. It would be nice to be that other guy sometimes.

But I think that is a question for another day.

Congrats to the Home Team

I have been very fortunate to have some of the best sky divers in the world around me at my Dropzone. Most importantly for me that means that I have people that I know will look out for me and keep me safe but it also means that I have easy access to coaching from the best. Nationals are still going on in Chicago, but we have already had a couple teams win gold medals. SPX 8 won gold in the intermediate 8 way group and Anomaly won gold for the third year in open class freefly. Congrats to everyone!

For me watching nationals this year really has me re-evaluating my desire to compete because of the level of competition that is out there at all levels. Going with the expectation of wining any kind of medal just is not realistic so in some ways I wonder if it is worth it next year. On the other hand, if I can align myself with a good team, I will learn a lot. This should still be fun no matter what. The day it is not, I will stop.

He Said, She Said: Better Than I Ever Imagined

He Said: Lurve…….you are FUNNY! I am happy that you are in Lurve!

She Said: And I want you to meet him! Because YOU of all people will be able to spot instantly how awesome he is.

If you like him, I love him. I am sure he is a quality person

I'm beginning to understand - even though before now I've never known - what it's like to be equally yoked in faith. George...it's better than I ever imagined it would be.

What's For Dinner? The Perfect Crab Cake

The Power of Google

Boy oh Boy did I learn the power of Google today.

This was one of those situations where somebody suggested that I Google a person's name and the truth came pouring out. It's hard to hide these days and public record is public record.

So who are you?

A business person?
A parent?
A spouse?
A criminal?
A person with a past?
Somebody who simply made a mistake?
A better person?
Somebody different than what the perception might be?
Forgiven?
Somebody living in the wake of a house of cards that came crashing down?

I don't know who you are, or who you might be. For that matter, how much do they know about me?

Introducing The 2007 Gladiators

QB
Jon Kitna
Ben Roethlisberger
Matt Schaub

RB
Sean Alexander
Reggie Bush
Cedric Benson
Marion Barber

WR
Roy Williams
Marques Colston
Hines Ward
Deion Branch
Isaac Bruce

TE
Ben Watson
Dallas Clark

K
Olindo Mare
John Kasay

Def
Pittsburgh
Seattle

Hopefully this will be my year.

Back to Me

Seems like the last few weeks I have managed to slip away from "me". Yup, I do have my routine, for better or worse, but somehow it has gotten lost. The more I slip away from it, the more I see that I need it. I think it starts with more George time and focusing on the little day to day things that I need to get done around the house and in life in general. That's the goal for the week, getting back to me.