Those Moments
I would be lying if I said I did not feel a little panicked on Thursday. That was my last day of my contract job with the private equity group here in town. Over all the engagement went really well and I had a very focused three weeks working on the project. I am pretty proud of my work and I think that the document turned out better than expected given that I felt a bit overwhelmed going in. I suppose that it was one of those "gotta back it up" moments.
It never hit me until I was wrapping up on Thursday that I was headed back into "the world." The job search has been there for the last few weeks but it did take a bit of a back seat in that I did not have time to originate new opportunities and only time to keep what I have going (which is still a good bit). Staring at the void of uncertainty again just turns my stomach at times. I want to believe that things will be ok, and I try to tell myself that things will be ok, but at times it's hard to believe it. I just want it to be ok not now but RIGHT NOW. When does this end? How can I be this close, this long and still have my life and future "hanging" in the balance? Anywho, I will be back at it on Tuesday.
I have been good for the most part though. This week was really busy and highlighted that I need to take time to shut out the world every few days and meditate - just me and my thoughts. I find myself running from task to task and none of it is all that important at the end of the day. I have to say that I had a really cool day on Friday though. I headed down to Galveston (for the first time in at least 10 years) with Rob and Adrienne and got a couple of R-44 jumps in. I will post some pics once I get those together and uploaded to flickr.
It never hit me until I was wrapping up on Thursday that I was headed back into "the world." The job search has been there for the last few weeks but it did take a bit of a back seat in that I did not have time to originate new opportunities and only time to keep what I have going (which is still a good bit). Staring at the void of uncertainty again just turns my stomach at times. I want to believe that things will be ok, and I try to tell myself that things will be ok, but at times it's hard to believe it. I just want it to be ok not now but RIGHT NOW. When does this end? How can I be this close, this long and still have my life and future "hanging" in the balance? Anywho, I will be back at it on Tuesday.
I have been good for the most part though. This week was really busy and highlighted that I need to take time to shut out the world every few days and meditate - just me and my thoughts. I find myself running from task to task and none of it is all that important at the end of the day. I have to say that I had a really cool day on Friday though. I headed down to Galveston (for the first time in at least 10 years) with Rob and Adrienne and got a couple of R-44 jumps in. I will post some pics once I get those together and uploaded to flickr.
posted by Booster MPS at
10:26 AM
2 Comments:
"void of uncertainty" can be overwhelming i agree. i'm sure things will turn themselves around for you-i have faith.
an r-44 jump-is that like a jump, jump? jumping out of a perfectly good airplane jump? hmm. i dont know about you.
i'm glad you had a really cool day friday with your friends. you deserve the break...
Hey. I have been absent a while. I am trying the private equity thing as well. For some reason I choose to bet on the come instead of getting a regular check. We'll see how that turns out.
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