Evaluation

I have been thinking about things the last couple of weeks and really trying to evaluate everything around me. A friend kidded me the other day and said I was having a mid life crisis which I completely found offensive. I don't think all of this can be summed up as something as cliche as that. I've just had a lot of questions going through my head.....about everything. The thing that has really been dogging me is the "possible" realization that what I am doing, might not be working.

I have had my head down working on this since day one in November - that's a long time. The crazy thing about this is that at any time I feel like I am two weeks or less away from an offer. That is, the phone could ring and spring me into a final interview that gets the wheels rolling quickly to an offer. Even now that is true. Every week I am making meaningful contact with all the right people and I have a lot of activity in my search but I just can't get a deal to close. Even this week I spent two solid hours alone with a CEO discussing the industry and the economy just bouncing ideas off of each other. That was awesome and I think both of us enjoyed it but it is just not a match right now. For the most part I am waiting for phone calls promised, meetings promised, promised expectations, yaddayaddayadda.

So in the end, there is still hope. Actually I have a lot of hope but the noose around my neck is the fact that what I am doing might not be enough and worst of all, it might not work. If it does not work then the options become less than desirable. Everything could change in my life - everything.

I am still in this.
I am a survivor.