Five Days, Five Questions - Day Three
3) What is the one thing you would stop doing today and the one you would start. Why?
Well since you asked........
The first thing that comes to mind that would make me a better person and also make me happier has to do with my Mom. If it could ever somehow be, I would stop my relationship with my mother as her son and start a new relationship with her as my friend. Moms will always be moms and sons will always be sons and I get that. It's just the way it is and we have roles to play. But, I know at least for us, having something more would be nice.
Through the years as I have gotten closer to my friends, I have also grown closer to their families as well which has been nice. One of the first things that it seems like I notice a lot is how close my friends are to their parents. Specifically I notice that they are friends which is the one thing that I missed with my parents. As a kid, my parents always kept a firm hand on me and where strong disciplinarians. I was always a good kid for the most part and and rarely got into much trouble, but I always looked at my parents as the ones that set policy in the home. They were the police, authority, enforcers and overseers.
When I look around now, I see a need for more than that and I am not sure that Mom and I know how to do anything other than play those same roles. She asks the motherly questions, I give the stock son answers. I don't call enough - in her opinion. She reminds me of that for the first 5 minutes every time I call. In fact, that is all we talk about. She worries. I tell her not to. She lives her life. I live mine. She refuses to come see me. I hate going to Montgomery. She is a homebody. I live an active life.
We
Are
Different
All said, if I could stop my current push and pull of a relationship with my mother and get to know her as my friend and have her get to know me and accept my life, that would be what I would choose above anything else. I love her very much, there is, nor ever was any question about that, but I think that we could be more. This is my one and only mother that has given me so much from her life. We should be friends.
Well since you asked........
The first thing that comes to mind that would make me a better person and also make me happier has to do with my Mom. If it could ever somehow be, I would stop my relationship with my mother as her son and start a new relationship with her as my friend. Moms will always be moms and sons will always be sons and I get that. It's just the way it is and we have roles to play. But, I know at least for us, having something more would be nice.
Through the years as I have gotten closer to my friends, I have also grown closer to their families as well which has been nice. One of the first things that it seems like I notice a lot is how close my friends are to their parents. Specifically I notice that they are friends which is the one thing that I missed with my parents. As a kid, my parents always kept a firm hand on me and where strong disciplinarians. I was always a good kid for the most part and and rarely got into much trouble, but I always looked at my parents as the ones that set policy in the home. They were the police, authority, enforcers and overseers.
When I look around now, I see a need for more than that and I am not sure that Mom and I know how to do anything other than play those same roles. She asks the motherly questions, I give the stock son answers. I don't call enough - in her opinion. She reminds me of that for the first 5 minutes every time I call. In fact, that is all we talk about. She worries. I tell her not to. She lives her life. I live mine. She refuses to come see me. I hate going to Montgomery. She is a homebody. I live an active life.
We
Are
Different
All said, if I could stop my current push and pull of a relationship with my mother and get to know her as my friend and have her get to know me and accept my life, that would be what I would choose above anything else. I love her very much, there is, nor ever was any question about that, but I think that we could be more. This is my one and only mother that has given me so much from her life. We should be friends.
posted by Booster MPS at
10:14 PM
2 Comments:
I am friends with my Dad. We had a great trip to Ireland last year and I am glad we were alone.
My Mom was to locked into the old relationship. I could never break free. We reach an understanding that we weren't those people any more but we could never develop a relationship as "friends."
maybe you need to talk to her about all this-open the lines of communication or maybe plan a trip together. a cruise? something? just a suggestion.
this was a sweet post.
Post a Comment
<< Home