On Turning 37: What I know I don't know
Thursday is 37. Much is still the same but lot is different. I suppose I have been reflecting on things say ten years or so ago. It's odd that time would be on my mind right now as it was the time I was getting ready to go back to school. A lot was going on. A lot of good change. I think .....I think I felt "young" then like that actually means something. Young. Whatever George. hmph!
If I wanted somebody to know where I am right now if they were to read this in the future, I am not sure what I would want them to know. Yes, I am very blessed. I have good friends. I have an interesting life in a lot of ways, yet there are a lot of things that I need to pull together. I need that fire back. Having a stable or normal or good life is not enough. I need to take a chance on myself and extend myself in new directions. Could be anything - job, relationship, just my routine. I really need to work on that. Life should be fresh. Every day should be cherished not stale. Shame on me if my tomorrows are like my todays. So what next? I really don't know. There are a lot of things I don't know.
I don’t think another year will find me in the same job.
I don’t think I know how to be in a healthy committed relationship with somebody. I have been either single or in sideways relationships so long that the concept is foreign to me.
I don’t think I am sure I know exactly what I should be doing - I lack the focus and the fire that I once had
But I do know that a year from now, I will be yet another "different George"
That's my blood down there
Seems poured from the hands of angels
But trickle into the ground
Leaves the warehouse bare and empty
And my heart's numbered beat
Still echo in this empty room
And fear wells in me
But nothing seems good enough to defend
So I am going away,
Though you know I'd love to say,
Lucky lucky lucky day........
posted by Booster MPS at
1:29 AM
7 Comments:
George... first of all a very Happy Birthday to one of the nicest guys around. I mean it, and I hope you have a great day.
As for where you are, and where you might be in the future... my only advice is this... if you can, think less and feel more. The world has a funny way of making sense when you stop trying to understand it.
Take care, my friend, and consider yourself lucky you're not ten years older ;-)
I like to avoid celebrations as well. I don't mind being the center of attention for something I do. I don't want to be the center of attention for what I am.
Now to 37.....Happy Birthday!!!
Getting the fire and idealism of youth back is hard. I don't know how so I cannot share the secret. All I can suggest is that if (when?) you change jobs find something you are passionate about. That may stoke the fire.
I am happy with the stability in my life. I have worked hard to build a stable foundation. I like who I am. Would I like some changes? Yes. Major changes? One. Finding a passionate love with someone who wants to stay around and I'd like to keep around for a while (forever is a long time and is too overwhelming to worry about). Will it happen? I am sure it will, but it is not something I can force. It isn't something I can worry about. All I have to do is recognize the right person at the right time and go with the flow. I know you can do that. Remember it is about WHO you are with not where you are. So keep your eyes open for 'the who'. You never know where she may be hiding.
You are a better man than I with the community service. If you need a break, take it. If you can then go back, GREAT!!! If you can't, that is OK as well.
I don't see the gain in worrying about your mortality. The clock is running on all of us. It comes down to a simple choice; you can get busy living, or get busy dying. I am hoping that next year's George spent his 37 year living.
What Fate Said. And I hate my bday. But I love telling other people happy birthday!
A fellow Aries.
Happy birthday my wonderful friend in the Midwest. You are amazingly wonderful.
Did you know that?
I did!
e.e.
huggy
Happy Birthday my friend! I'm thinking you may need to take a trip back to Auburn and celebrate.
Another $0.02...
I stumbled across this quote this morning. "Discontent is the first necessity of progress." - Thomas A. Edison
That makes sense in my world, I am not discontent enough to make changes necessary for progress.
Post a Comment
<< Home