Moving On From My Stone
I suppose if you don't move along quick enough, life has a way of doing it for you. Carly gets married this weekend. I won't even begin to address the complexities of my feelings there but I suppose everything happens for a reason. Afterall, who cares about somebody you dated years ago. I suppose I do.
Fuck it. I am bitter. I suppose I have every right to be bitter but at the same time I wish her the best and all the happiness possible. I really, really mean that as I don't wish ill on anyone. I am not bitter at her specifically, but maybe more so at life and the way it all went down and how I was left in a flat spin in the aftermath. Why didn't I get a second chance to make it right? I suppose sitting here bitter/banged up and pissed at a the circumstance around a woman who has found a way to move on with her life is not the most healthy thing. But in the end, here I sit. That is not a good thing and I guess the lesson learned is that I need to do the same thing. Move on. My friends and so many women tell my I have so much going for me. I am a catch. I am a great guy. Blah, blah, blah.......... I honestly don't ever care to hear that again. Yet, I have not found anybody to move along with - and it's been three years almost to the day.
Carly I really wish you the best and all God's blessings on your marriage and family. We all have our cross to bare, my cross is The Stone.
I've this creeping
Suspicion that things here are not as they seem
Oh reassure me
Why do I feel as if I'm in too deep
I've been praying
For some way to show them I'm not what they see
Yes I have done wrong
But what I did I thought needed be done
I swear
Oh, unholy day
If I leave now I might get away
God knows it weighs on me
As heavy as stone and as blue as I go
posted by Booster MPS at
8:28 PM
6 Comments:
To balance that out - You're alive, you're healthy, you're jumping out of aeroplanes. I know you have the priorities straight in your head mate. Failing that - you can do the chainsaw cha-cha with me tonight. Big love from DC.
Booster, I think that you're just articulating feelings that we all have from time to time, but if it sets a positive process in place then its a good thing.
I look back at times too, but I try to make sure it's just a quick glance. It can help you get your bearings, after all.
Aww Booster. I love ya dude.
I wish I lived closer. I'd put on some slutty [but very attractive] clothes and go with ya. It'll be ok. I always think guys who look never see sometimes whats in front of them all along. Just stop stressin over the fact it's been 3 years...and take it day by day.
Good guys like you never stay single for long. Half the time it's women thinking guys like you who are single in our minds they're always taken. Misconceptions.
I'd dress in my l.b.d. and go with ya too, sweetie. Anytime.
Hell, send me a plane ticket and I'm there for ya.
;)
Really, though, the stone is only as heavy as you let it be. And with all of us helping you hold it up, damn, its' freakin' light as a feather, right??! RIGHT!
Now if I could only find those sexy c-f-m shoes to go with my little black dress....
;)
I have to agree with W. We have all experienced the same feelings. Could it be that you are bitter because she found happiness before you did? I know that's how it was with my ex husband.
I do believe everything happens for a reason and one day your "ship" will come in too.
**~** Hugs baby Hugs**~**
You could take your mind off your troubles and get your ass over here to help me pack.
LOL
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