Off Balance...........

Seems like I went into the weekend with a ton of momentum. I had really good swims and runs, good energy, I was getting sleep, eating well, I even had some good progress on the job search. Things were......say on track. Kicking off this week what the hell happened?

Here it is Wednesday night and I don't know where the week has gone so far. I have just been in a daze since I got back from Austin. I feel underutilized or maybe like I am going through the motions of living. I know this is a stream of consciousness that really does not make sense but I am just gonna go with it. What am I missing out on? It seems like there has been work, disjointed sleep and nothing memorable. Yeah this is just a Monday and a Tuesday but it feels like a week.

And the sleep thing........it seems like I have not been able to wind down at night. I end up prowling the house doing nothing. Nothing. Some of it, well, I will admit it is the ex. As I often do, I went to my favorite restaurant Ibiza and sat outside on Sunday with a bottle of wine to watch the sun go down and just chill. I love this place and it is kinda home. I wander inside to say hello to a friend's parents and there she is. Sitting. With her fiance'. Sister. Mother. Ughh. Did my knees really just wobble? Am I sweating?

I need to get back to me and quick. It will come, I know and maybe it is all better tomorrow. I need to cook. I need to have people over for dinner. I need to sit and listen to a great CD. I need to finish the last 80 pages of that book. I should sit in that chair that I never sit in.

Who knows if any of this made sense or was coherent. I really don't care. Seems like I just needed "to say it"

" Shut up I'm thinking
I had a clue now it's gone forever
Sitting over these bones
You can read in whatever you're needing to"